A Romantic Evening With My Mother

When I toured the hospital, I was told about a new and exciting event the hospital plans for all new parents....a delicious, romantic Steak and Champagne dinner served with linens and china on a night of your choice after the birth of your baby (ies?). C & M were born on the morning of the 12th, and Mother couldn't get there that day, but arrived on the 13th. Sometime during the day, the nurse came to me and asked if I would like to be served the Romantic Dinner that evening. Barry wasn't there at the moment but I said "Sure, tonight would be fine." Barry and Mother arrived sometime in the early afternoon, Barry stayed for a while, but then left to go to the office. I told him about the dinner and he thought it sounded lovely and said he would be back to celebrate. Mother stayed with me all afternoon and, wouldn't you know that the nurse came to announce our Romantic Dinner. Barry was not there, so I called his office, but he was out. You may not remember but people didn't have cell phones 18 years ago, so I couldn't reach him to tell him he needed to hurry to the hospital for dinner. The dinner arrived with a bottle of champagne and, with Barry's absence, I invited Mother to share the Steak and Champagne dinner with me. She said, "Sure." So, they brought everything in, set my tray with linens and two steak dinners, set champagne glasses next to the plates, and left the bottle of champagne, set in ice. The server left and I helped Mother open the champagne. We were really giggling quite a bit because it was so absurd that we were have this wonderful, romantic dinner. Oh, what the heck! Anyway, we got the cork out of the bottle, and Mother picked up the first plastic champagne flute to begin pouring the champagne. I was watching as she began pouring and, as fast as the champagne was going in the top of the glass, it was also pouring out the bottom of the glass....in a crack in the plastic, ALL OVER OUR STEAK DINNER. Mother was so mesmerized by watching the bubbles flowing from the bottle, she did not notice ( or hear the patter of the liquid) that the champagne was coming out of the bottom of the glass. We had been giggling about the entire scene just seconds before this happened and I started laughing and pointing, but I was laughing so hard I couldn't communicate to Mother what was happening. So, she kept pouring. The more she poured and spilled, the more I laughed. Finally, she figured out the champagne was not being contained by the flute and she stopped pouring. The whole damn thing was hilarious and we reminisce about the Romantic Steak and Champagne Dinner every time we get together. The worst thing about the moment was that it made me laugh so hard, I was in so much pain from the C-Section, but I couldn't stop laughing because she kept pouring. (This was my payback from Mother for the "punch in the stomach" comment I gave her when I was three.)