Courtney’s Haven

Words. I’m Not Sick of Them.

“Lost up in the moment with your hand upon mine
Knowing with a surrender, we will be intertwined
Casually, it happens, and I fall like a rock
All I want is glory. Just one ardent walk.”

In the first time since I was 8 years old, I not only read a book in one night, but I also could not put it down. The difference is that when I was 8 the book I was reading was Sheila the Great; now it was The Notebook.

Something I have also noticed is the longing for an exploration of how multifaceted our brains can actually be. Poetry being one aspect of them.
Probably catalyzed by the protagonist’s passion for it, I have realized that the simpleness of a phrase is the epitome for peace and serenity. Furthermore, words are nothing without passion behind them. Saying “I love you” can never mean anything when the words do not come to life. Maybe that’s why we can be deceived sometimes. Animated words are a mirror to someone’s psyche, and being as feeble as we are, we want (and most of the time) believe what is spoken to us. Hence, we, as humans, are stuck, because how can we be certain of fidelity? This seems to be the crux. I guess that’s where body language comes into play. And intolerably, it seems that you have to at least know some of a person’s mannerisms to determine if they are lying, but I guess that’s the human race for you. Finally, it’s just amazing to think where we would be without words. There would be no way to tell a story, no way to give an instruction, and no way to describe an emotion. I like my words, and I hope that never changes.

A Tribute to Irony

Life is so remarkable when it forces questioning upon the stability of wisdom. Sometimes, we think we know the way “things are supposed to be,” but then something happens—almost catalytically—that makes us recognize the unpredictability in our life.

My roommate is coming to visit me on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday; I could not be anymore excited! What’s so interesting is that if I were to travel back a little less than a year, I would find myself biting my lip and rolling my eyes at the sound of her name. There was so much animosity between us (in which we were both responsible). I don’t know what it was about her, but we just didn’t get along.

Eventually, things gradually changed. Short, hostile chatter turned into longer, deeper conversations. Frowns turned into smiles. Enemies turned into friends.

Life is just cool like that. Unpredictability rocks.

And now, for a tribute pic, where we both look beautiful. :) (and black and white photography rocks)

The Holes in my Jeans Get Bigger Everyday

So analagous, which why I like it.

I really do need new shorts. The hole in them has become gradually bigger, and now, they are at a point of (my definition of) indecency. I duct-taped the hole, and that worked quintessentially for a while (about 4 months), but now, the hole is getting bigger, and I have to face the fact that I can’t keep wearing them. It really does make me sad because I have grown fond of them. C’mon…if you have a pair of shorts for 4 years, and they fit you just as well (or even a little looser) when you first bought them, wouldn’t you be a little nostalgic when you have to let them go? They were a part of me. They accentuated one of the physical aspects that I found favorable. (You gotta love long legs). They even quasi-succeeded in making me callipygian. So, to me they had tremendous value as far as apparel goes. Something else I liked about them is how, through those 4 years, they changed right before my eyes. At first, they were fairly tight, and you could see how “unexperienced” they were, but after a while, they began to transform into something more relaxed and comfortable. And you see, this is my dilemma. Do I get rid of them because they have no use for me OR do I keep them because of my stable acclivity for them? It’s a no-win situation. If I keep them, they are just wasted space. If I toss them out, I will be sad without them. Ah, such is life.

P.S. Life would be so much easier if we could be naked all the time.

Passion of the Heart

“A short time is a long time when you won’t let it go.” - Jack Johnson (Dreams Be Dreams)

I love that quote. There’s something about the simplicity of it makes a smile. Although, it really is true. Some people are hard headed; some are laid backed; and some are displined. We all know this.

That being said—-I like to define myself as “obstinately laid backed.” Because of this, I don’t bring up what a desire is, but deep down inside, when I passionately want something, I will do anything to get it.

That was just a thought I had.

Katy Cry

Katy is too banal for me.
I want leap about
This poem seems to be,
A cry plus some “pout”

I am ready to be back at College Station with the familarity and amicability. I feel that I’ve outgrown the suburb of Katy, TX, and now, I only tell myself less than a month. (August 22, 2004 to be exact!). Next year is going to be a great one I can already see it—-it just has to start :). New people. Old people. New classes. Old buildings. Same old (horrible) football team, but some new players. I really can’t wait! My summer school classes are going to be done on Wednesday. YAY.

Sure, I am going to miss some of the luxuries at home (i.e. own room, access to food, drive way, etc…), but I would give up all of that to be back. I want my entire independence. I want to see my friend’s smiling faces. I want to be me.

A smart man, Andrew Artzer once said, “I love her…I really do.” That reminds me of how much I love college and being who I want to be. It’s so humbling.